Is Pick-Up a Constructive Activity?

I think we can all agree that pursuing activities which in this article I will call “constructive” activities- activities that lead to ease in communicating our life-styles as respectable lifestyles, are important.

The reason is because the lifestyles we lead that we choose cannot stand on their own, but must be interdependent with the lifestyles of others. Those lifestyles that make us proud when we communicate them to others, are pursued because they not only bring us pleasure, but help us build relationships, cliques and communities.

During these pioneer days of our community, which is trying to develop the activity or lifestyle of success with women, we must heed the importance of being able to communicate this lifestyle as a respectable lifestyle. If we fail to identify with respectable lifestyles, we cannot build relationships and ultimately our efforts to improve our success with women will be in irony and vanity.

Above all else, our activities in interacting with women must be established as constructive activities. Any activity or skill-learning we engage must make us feel better the more we do it, add value to our lives, increase our self-esteem, and most importantly allow us to become better at the activity the more we practice. Finally, the better we become at an activity, the more we should notice improvement in our lives in general – in other areas beyond that certain activity.

To illustrate the importance of engaging in constructive acitivities, we can examine the consequences of engaging in destructive activities- activities such as drinking, over-eating, or fighting.

Any destructive activity has undesirable consequences. The first and most tragic consequence of a destructive activity is that it ensures the long-term inability to perform the very activity which we were trying to improve in the first place. Aside from the self-destruction of destructive activities, non-constructive activities do not contribute to our self-esteem… they do not cross-over to improve other areas of our lives… and we generally do not grow in their midst over the long-term.

Take fraternity beer boat racing, for example. Boat races although a riot as undergrads train to down pints faster and faster, lead to alcoholism the better and better an undergrad wants to become. So the best of the best boat racers become the losers of the game, if they practice on real beer to get better. Eventually, they exhaust their financial resources, destroy their livers and lose any or all support or ability to drink drink beer in the first place.

The point of this article is to challenge you right now to reflect on the activity and so-called skill of meeting and dating women and concentrate on defining what type of activity it really is.

If we are talking about improving in comedic techniques, pursuing careers in marketing, or promoting, then “sarging” or meeting and dating women could be communicated as side-effects of the real passions for comedy and business-building- Two very respectable activities that can and should be well-communicated to others to both meet others and grow in relationships. Expertise in kino-escalation can be the side-effect of a passion for latin-dancing- a sport focussed on improving dance moves with a female counterpart, not a sport created for improving groping 'tactics' against a female victim. Similarly, strict self-improvement, and spiritual growth, can be the vehicle for proficiency in maintaining long-term relationships. Spiritual growth can be well-argued to be a constructive undertaking, while learning how to get a girlfriend in step-by-step methods unfortunately cannot.

Aspiring to be porn-stars, or developing classes for the con-arts, or creating religion or engaging in key-board jockeying (endless intellectual internet chat-debates about women, without actually talking to any) in the name of the art of “picking up women” cannot be communicated as respectable lifestyles if not for any other reason, then that they are self-destructive activities. They are activites that will destroy any chances we have to successfully meet and build relationships with women in the future. We can become ok-enough, at meeting and dating women while minding our overall success in life, but then we cannot be the best at meeting and dating women! To become super at meeting and dating women, would be to sacrifice our overall success in life- which is the key to success with women. To become somehow “super” at meeting and dating women is then a vain undertaking, and a lot of "date-coaches" will have to wrestle with this.

Once this acitivity we are engaged in is clearly defined, then we can go on to lay the ground-work for establishing improvement with women as a therapy that has its place in mainstream society.

Natural Vs. Unnatural

Hey guys,

Lately, I have been really focussing on creating long-term relationships for me in my life. I started to really focus on my inner game, and actually found a Christian group on which I model a lot of my values. It is working wonders for both my growth and my dating life.

Recently, I found this article that I wrote just a few years back. I hope it will help you as much I enjoyed writing it.

God Bless, intro-out
Cujo

On my way to work - I realized something very INTERESTING about the topic of women and dating...and what it takes to break out of old habits, get out there in life and actually start approaching women.

I realized that many guys do not think it is NATURAL or at least NATURAL FOR THEM to approach strange women they've never met.

I know I used to feel that way before I got the dating area of my life handled. When seeing a woman I was attracted to, I would clam up, become nervous and miss a great opportunity to meet someone new.

But after failing hundreds and hundreds of times to successfully meet new women, I started to
gain some insight into the whole process. I would now say I approach about anywhere from
20-50 women ...a DAY. Sometimes a NIGHT if I am out at the club. I think it is now NATURAL. I am not talking about going up and bother people for their phone numbers. I am simply talking about saying a “hello”- sharing a casual observation, or in other words being a more than
average, friendly person.

BUT to become successful with women I had to first realize something...

I realized, that NO ONE was EVER going to give me the approval, or the permission to approach
strange women. I had to believe that it was NATURAL for me to do so- whether I was scared or not.

Now if you also seek to be the kind of guy who can share conversations with any woman,
any time, it is guaranteed you will learn something too: You will learn that HUMAN BEINGS
ARE NATURALLY SOCIAL CREATURES.

You will learn that there is ACTUALLY an energy WITHIN YOU that maybe you have not let out. This may be the real you…

So, if you don’t BOUND out of bed every morning with ENERGY and IDEAS and the drive to
meet 100 strangers…don’t worry.

Learning to meet and date women is a process of growth and transformation. ONE DAY it can be as natural as apple pie.

If you CLING to the idea that it IS NATURAL for you to approach strange women- things will start to change.

And here’s how this whole approaching women thing really works (in a normal, smooth and socially acceptable way). This happens to me on a regular basis.

You get up from bed and get dressed to go to the bus stop. You are standing there and NO ONE' IS TALKING. There is a cute girl standing a few feet away from you.

Is it natural to not say ANYTHING and put in energy to seal your lips and freeze your face in a stiff position? ...Or is it natural to IMMEDIATELY utter “Hi” without a second thought…like it was attached to one of your exhaled breaths...hmmm… “Hi”?

Then assume you are NOT AFRAID of women and you both get on the bus as it pulls up. Is it natural to hide from the girl in the back of the bus when you really want to talk to her?

Or is it natural to sit a couple seats away from the girl whether you know what you are going to "say" to her or not?

Then… you're an intelligent person who is very perceptive:

Is it NATURAL, to “blank out” and not say anything? Or is it natural to comment out loud about something funny – like the VIAGRA ads on the bus …

"You know...EVERY time I get on this bus with this same male bus driver...I see these ads
about VIAGRA- do you think the bus-driver might actually take Viagra- …Do you think
the bus driver could be THE VIAGRA spokes model of the GTA (<- Greater Toronto Area)...or just a number one client"?

Is it natural to have an ANXIETY OVER APPROACHING WOMEN...or is it natural to continue the UNBROKEN CHAIN of THOUSANDS of your ancestors whose genes you now carry...who NEVER ONCE failed to successfully meet, court and have sex with a woman to contribute to your existence today.

Think of things this way...and I'll talk to you
next time.

The Mystery of the Mac

I remember being a newbie and scoring some awesome approaches.

Did you ever have a day like that? Your heart beats fast as you spot her...

It's a frikken' adventure just walking up to her. You gather all of your courage and instruct first your left leg to step forward, then your right.

You feel a thrill as you enter into her awareness.

Just when you thought you'd die of tension- you're standing right in front of her- and the shock of the fact that you ACTUALLY APPROACHED her - strangely calms you down...

You just can't be nervous anymore- because you've already stepped off the enormous diving board that is THE APPROACH. So you're naturally relieved that gravity is pulling you into your girl on a force of its own now.

There's nothing you can do about the attraction between you two now...you reckon you might as well have fun with this.

After all, she is smiling now so what’s there really to be afraid of?

It's suddenly 5-7 minutes later. You're walking away with her phone number. When your boy comes up to you the next day, he asks you “What did you say to her?” and you reply:

“I don’t remember;” and that’s because the conversation went so well...

You smile to yourself- and say YEP- “I AM the man... the dating manual I read ACTUALLY WORKS- and I FOUND IT.”

So what do you do the next day?

You walk up to a chic - same guy, same location, you're wearing the same style, same situation- OR SO YOU THINK.

Same result - right?

No.

No- it is not the same result.

Instead what might happen is that:

You walk up to the chic- and without you saying a word- she wrinkles her nose, furrows her brow, writhes in disgust and tries everything in her power not to engage in conversation.

Slammed.

If you've experienced this, than you and I are in the same boat. In fact, even though I know everything there is to know just about experiencing real success with women,

This same thing STILL HAPPENS TO ME from time to time. (It HAS to- at least for me, but more on this in another article, I suppose.)

What's the deal?

How is it that all the conditions are the same from one approach to the next,

Only in one instance everything goes AWESOME. And in the next- horrible.

When I used to get these "bad" days versus these "good" days- I used to just call the phenomenon:

"The Mystery of The Mac"

Because I had ABSOLUTELY NO FRIKKIN CLUE as to why the HELL I could do everything the same from one day to the next- and get such drastically different results.

It just didn't make any sense to me.

And I would go through these hot streaks and cold streaks at completely seemingly random sequences of times- without any clue as to how to explain it.

It took me YEARS to finally understand the Mystery of the Mack. And when I found out the answer to the mystery, I didn't necessarily recognize it as the answer until one day I just kind of realized I didn't have the same confusion anymore surrounding the up-and-down nature of my game.

You can call that realization "the Now” or you can call it "Flow" or "Being in the Moment" - "In the Zone", or "God" or whatever you want.

But the point is- whenever you are on your game - meaning getting the results you want,

It is not the weather that is causing it, or the girl that is causing it (meaning you can’t count on the girl to behave similarly from one day to the next, even if it is the same girl you are seeing- you can only influence her to be happy when she’s down).

But it is the healthy connection you have to yourself, or lack-thereof that is varying your results.

A hot streak in game-land means you are experiencing a healthy connection within yourself at a high level of intra-personal mastery.

Your muscles are relaxed.

Your breathing is regular and rhythmic and paced and slow and calm, and powerful. In fact, it can be slow and calm and fast and powerful all at once, vibrating at a high energy- level.

Your sense of your "energy" is calm and positive.

And ALL these "states" of being can be brought on by various things:

-The pure desire to be in a healthy connection with oneself, having socialized with a healthy group of fun, social people.

-Having just met a *woman that you vibed with really well, that transfers that good vibe through you to the next girl you meet, who you help transfer that vibe again to the next girl, etc... (hence the hot streaks that keep perpetuating themselves, from one successful approach to the next)

-Traveling, or being in a new and stimulating environment that brings all your senses alive, even if it a strange but exhilerating neighborhood you've just never visited before, or a park or water-fountain that you discovered existed, etc...

When you go out the next day after a hot-streak like this; any focus on the weather, the clothes, or the lines, as responsible for your prior success, as opposed to your spiritual well-being- is likely to render you:

Slammed.

That's because the focus is no longer on the calm-positive energy, the humility and the allowing that the girl may not "like you", but instead on things that are not real, like:

-The idea that this "should" work.

-Your pride that you're somehow "better" than other people because you know "The Secret".

-The idea that you have mastery and control over others (without their permission).


Any focus other than on the centre within you leads to “death”.

Death of friendships, death of the calm feeling within, and certainly the death of the very results you were so proud about.

-The Flow, or "the Zone" within is compromised by such little things:

-Awing and worshipping the results you have gotten in the PAST.

-Worshiping another guru.

-Like getting too excited about "seduction" (the worshipping of your sex instincts)

-etc...

Would you like to know how I achieved the awareness of my intrapersonal Universe?

I used to do balance my need to approach women without the pressure of closing their contact, with the fact that I had to actually "close the deal" on a woman's contact information - otherwise there was no way she would take responsibility for giving me her phone number.

For years I would seek to meet one girl at least, each day, to make sure I wasn't becoming a hypocritical, lazy, pick-up poseur.

To make that contact required the virtues of courage, imagination, risk-taking and confidence.

I would also make sure that each day, if I had already met at least one girl to the point where I had obtained her contact- I would still engage girls afterwards- but be as *natural* as could be about it- and only make the contact when it seemed completely effortless to do so.

The virtues needed to act natural were unattachment to outcomes, non-neediness, relaxation, subtlety and humility.

At the time I did not realize what the Mystery of the Mac was, but I knew that as my courageous, confident, and risk-taking self mixed with my non-needy, relaxed, calm, humble and unattached self, I would come to solve the mystery once and for all.

And that mystery solved was the discovery of God-Power. I guess I learned that when you turn meeting women over to the glory of your Maker- you will receive whatever it is that you are looking for. Be it Flow, the Zone, or the Power of the Now, or whatever you want to call it.

And I’m a firm believer in that yes, you can even ask for sex.

Find out what it means to you- and go for it.

How to Be Naturally Attractive - Yes, You Are Naturally Attractive

Have abstained from talking about being "Natural" for quite some time.

Quick type out.

I've been involved with this Pick-Up stuff for 4 years.

And before those four years, I really was just a regular guy. I had great marks at school.

I had a smokin' "9" girlfriend out of high school (about four years ago I was at the end of my high school years/entering my university years).

I was about to enter the University of Toronto- which was the most revered, and reputed university in the world.

I FELT though, as if I was missing ONE THING.

And that thing -was women.

I had more women giving me the Let's Just Be Friends Speeches then there was days in a calendar month, before the month was over.

But if I had just realized two very important things- my four years "In The Game" could have been avoided ALTOGETHER. I would have come into the realization of myself, as the NATURALLY ATTRACTIVE man I was.

Those two things that would have helped me four years ago be A NATURALLY ATTRACTIVE MAN ARE:

1) I can die without hooking up with a single other girl, if that's how the Universe intends it. And that would be OK

2) Hooking up with girls is INEVITABLE, but for the resistance we (or the girl/girls I repeatedly attract) offer to such reality

Now someone might look at these two statements and say they contradict each other.

How can someone be OK not having ANY CHICKS

BUT

At the same time, KNOW that women are inevitably attracted to him?

I suppose that comes from focusing on one's CORE INNER SELF MORE than,

Focusing on the so-called "results" and "outcomes" he is getting in his life.

You see, focusing on one's core inner self - one realizes that it simply DOESN'T MATTER what the girls are doing. One KNOWS he is attractive.

It's kind of like - not even a matter of KNOWING or NOT KNOWING one is attractive.

One simply doesn't think about it.

Like, if I wake up in the morning and want to go outside for a breath of fresh air, I don't worry about whether or not today I'll be able to turn the doorknob.

I KNOW that I can turn a doorknob. Only it's MORE than that- I don't even THINK about it.

To illustrate further what I mean in practical terms- imagine a 9, or a dime chick standing in a nightclub.

(I only say "chic" because that's the language I am trying to project to what my audience might
be comfortable with- at the same time I say "chic" without fear of repercussion from "feminists" because they are not my audience).

We KNOW that that chic is 100% abso-freakin'lutely attractive.

POINT -BLANK -PERIOD.

But at the same time- from her perspective, she may not be approached by ANY GUYS the WHOLE NIGHT.

Guys are intimidated approaching super-attractive women, so if this poor girl didn't know any better- she may wrongfully assume she's not "attractive".

This dime is naturally attractive, but she may also actually BE APPROACHED all night long by all kinds of guys.

Does that mean her life is now PERFECT- MAGICAL? With all these guys hitting on her leading to LONG-TERM, fulfilling success?

Or are the guys a woman is being hit on, as the woman is a perfect 9 or 10 the "ephemeral, the brief and the fleeting, and the temporary. Non-fulfilling".

In many cases for a 9 or a dime, it is the latter.

She lives in the tragic world a lot of top Pick-Up gurus live in. The glitz, the glamour and the temporary nature of sexual success- brings her all the sex, and validation she could want. Temporary validation and temporary sex, and that's it.

Although SEXUALLY attractive- NATURALLY which I am suggesting all of you men are- once you come into the Power of the Moment,

This 9 or dime, may still have *problems* or issues she has to wrestle with in life.

Imagine that- a hot chic having problems in her life- maybe even problems in Love!

But once we think about this as guys. OBVIOUSLY the truth is laid to bear.

NATURAL SEXUAL ATTRACTIVENESS IS NOT THE ENTIRE SOLUTION TO THE LIFE PUZZLE.

BUT

It still accomplishes a lot of things.

Double Dare Dating is AWARE that sex is not the be all and end-all to life, but it does not ABSTAIN from the issues and discussions around sex. Abstaining or resisting sex we believe would be equally as delusional.

And that's ALL Double Dare promises when it talks about "Success With Women":

1) The ability to flirt with any chic- no matter where she is, on a subway, surrounded by 5 huge guys, in a club, in a mall, behind a counter- whatever.

2) The ability to lock lips with girls whenever you feel like it- where to go, how to do it, and minute-by-minute hands-on coaching for how it's done.

But like the 9 or dime who literally can HAVE SEX ANY TIME SHE WISHES

*YOU have to ask yourself- how will I become Happy in life?

And

Where am I taking "success with women" in the OVERALL GRAND SCHEME of things?

But as you ask yourselves these questions, ask yourself the following as well:

If sex doesn't lead to happiness- does that now mean I must swing to the OPPOSITE extreme?

Isn't the DENOUNCEMENT OF SEX, and the societal SUPRESSION of male sexuality what brought us to the pick-up movement in the first place?

What I hear all the time is roughly that:

"You're delusional- the "Game" is harmful and bad for everyone."

The game is NOT harmful for everyone, in my opinion.

I simply believe, there are different people in the universe - who have different needs based on where they are at in life.

The important thing is to

KNOW THYSELF.

Stay true to who YOU ARE.

Engage in programs that resonate with YOUR HEART.

Because ultimately YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE who knows where YOU'RE AT.

My two cents tonight.

Thank you

The Beauty is in the Shop

Hey there, let me ask you a question...

Do you think that women should be worshipped? I mean, really get down into
this question and see if you have behaved like you think they should.

Billboards, magazine covers, mom and TV and more, seem to convey the idea
that "women are and want to be worshipped and treated like Queens". But
here's another way to think of it:

Women are HUMANS too! That's right. They're just people- and no matter
what people say, we seem to resent those who kiss our ass and suck up to us.

Perhaps it's because we as humans want to be challenged by surrounding
ourselves with constructive criticism and not blindless yea-sayers.

Maybe it's because we are all insecure at some level and can't perceive
others complimenting us, or praising us too much, as REAL...

In any case, I want you to think of a time when YOU were fairly good at
something that you were currently working hard at to MASTER- maybe a sport,
piano, dancing, or even school or other disciplines...

You got pretty good at whatever discipline you were studying, good enough to
appear spectacular to the eyes of the average laymen. But somewhere back in
your mind you could never truly identify with being the "best dancer",
"rookie of the year", or "rising star". You had used hard work to get where
you were at that point, and your insecurity tells you, you must work hard to
continue improving until real mastery.

So how did you feel if say, it was school-something we can all relate to-
you finally started pulling off A's and people praised you for it? Felt
pretty good, huh. But then what if people started to praise you a little
too much...calling you a genius and remarking how easy and natural things
come to you academically even when you knew nothing could be farther from
the truth - hard work, luck and some smarts did it...

What if people started to do something even worse...comparing THEMSELVES
negatively against you saying it would be impossible for them to achieve
what you have because they just weren't 'naturally smart' like you had been
'all your life'. No matter how hard you tried to convince them they
wouldn't believe you that you weren't always so good at what you did and
they wouldn't seem to take your advice to work hard...they would rather
believe they weren't worthy and just continue to worship you...

...I know you're feelin what i'm sayiing

it would get ANNOYING somehow, in a way that you can't put your finger on.

Well, I'm going to suggest that next time you approach an attractive
woman...don't ANNOY her and give her credit where credit isn't due. Not
explicitly with too many compliments, or subtly with your body posture and
voice tone.

My cousin once told me something very wise that is a saying from twi, a
language in Ghana;

"The beauty is in the shop".

This means that many attractive women produce an EFFECT of attractiveness
and superiority by buying the right products, clothes and make-up.
Underneath it, they're just like you and I and though they want to look nice
(as opposed to being slobby?) these women don't alway truly identify with the way most people see them come across, due to the clothes and make-up, etc...

They just PUT ON attractiveness in the morning, cause they know what to buy
(they can be naturally beautiful but even then, it's not such a big
deal...they're just HUMAN).

Think about this...next time you approach a beautiful woman don't think in
your head "ok, that one's a 'cock-blocker', that one' s a 'stuck-up', that
one's a queen, that one's a Goddess, that one's a bitch"- no matter HOW she
behaves.

Say, "the beauty's in the shop" and try to even imagine her PUTTING ON all
the glamour made to intimidate, at the bathroom sink that morning.

Think about how she's a human being and bust her balls, tease her - point
out her insecurities in a fun way and RELATE TO HER and you'll be better
off.

We'll talk soon - and DON'T HESITATE to write back with thoughts, any
insights or problems you're having with women or even tips or success
stories of your OWN you want to share.

My e-mail address is drcujo@doubledaredating.ca
and my website - www.doubledaredating.com

If you log on RIGHT NOW - to Toronto's number one forum for pick-up artists, create a handle and start posting some questions to "Cujo" (that's me).

That site is http://www.torontophoenixsociety.com - and is a GOLD-MINE resource for finding wing-men to go out with TONIGHT

Thanks again and we'll talk soon
Cujo

The Social Mindset

Problem. Going out to develop isolated skills in Pick-Up to the exclusion of existing relationships affects the mind.

Have you ever had to study for a test alone for a very long time? Have you locked yourself in your room for some time to "think things through"? Have you ever moved away from home, for vacation, or moved to a different neighbourhood altogether and had to make new friends?

All of us either through the examples above, or maybe recently through learning success with women, have isolated ourselves from the outside world. In isolating ourselves from existing relationships we may have felt homesick, felt culture shock, or felt “alienation” based on our actions.

When this used to happen to me as I went along my journey, learning to meet and date women, I dubbed it "stranger sickness".

In my case I was developing my social skills a lot, yeah. I was being social ALL THE TIME.

I talked to people EVERYWHERE I WENT. Day in, day out.

And they were ALL strangers.

In mastering the art of making friends, ironically I separated myself from all of humanity after some years.

It is really amazing how much for granted we can take our existing deep friendships that may be "tying us down" from success.

Now, I am not saying that taking some time off to find yourself is a bad thing.

But the purpose to this article is to highlight the concept of Stranger Sickness- just so that you may be able to avoid some of the pitfalls along your own journey (so my stories may be of value to some of you).

By the way, if you have Stranger Sickness- again- do not beat yourself up over this. It is not ENTIRELY tragic, and chances are- if you are going off on your own, to focus on a writing project of yours, or if you are studying really hard for an exam, or if you are learning success with women- keep doing what you got to do.

You went off on your own to pursue your special “mission” whether it is to become a star, or an actor, or a dancer, or a writer, or successful with women, or whatever.

But at some point, to maintain your mental health you will simply seek to re-establish and deepen your existing relationships with others, because you will have gotten what you were looking for- solid sense of self. That sense of self, is the treasure you are taking away from developing stranger sickness. Quite logically, because you know yourself so well now, you are sick of yourself like a friend you hang out with so much -you are tired of him/her. So knowing yourself and working on yourself in isolation is a good thing. Ok?

Onwards.

You have Stranger Sickness if you experience the following:

-You have formulae, and schedules for when you are going to meet your new "friends"- you have rubrics for how often, and like pills you must take at defined intervals, you have "quotas" to fill consciously, as to how social you must be.

-Your "friends" are constantly monitored to determine if and when they are attempting to "show you up", or "big up on you" or get ahead of you.

-Your friends are constantly monitored to determine if they are still good enough for you to hang out with, or monitored for you to determine if their "contagious limiting beliefs" will infect you if you hang out with them.

-You have stranger sickness if you feel others’ thoughts are anti-progressive and you fear hanging out with your old friends, who will lock you up into your old "habits". So you avoid people you used to hang out with because you cannot distinguish between your own thoughts and beliefs about yourself from those beliefs about you from others. You feel you take on the thoughts of those around you, so you are trying to engineer a master-mind group that usually does not include those old friends.

-You need to close an outcome with almost every social interaction in which you are involved- whether a number, an e-mail, or a laugh, or some other sought-after reaction.

-You are gearing up to perfect your "performance"-performance being the way you totally define your way of interacting with others.

-Your only friends are those internet weirdo "community" people that you never dreamed you would actually hang out with in the first place

And a host of other symptoms.

Now- pause for a second. Why is this happening?

We all had a reason why we went to tune different aspects of our game and our social skills.

We wanted to handle our crippling fear of approaching and handling different social scenarios.

I mean, go back to before your perfected "game" and remember what it was like to see someone you wanted to meet and be absolutely frozen as to how to just walk up to them and start talking.

Honour how far you've come.

At the same time- you also had the goal one day to reintegrate yourself into your old lifestyle, or with certain friends once you'd found yourself, or gained that confidence you needed.

And now you’ve simply lost sight of that and must gently step back on the right track.

So "stranger sickness" as I described it, where your general overall social life has become shallowed out across all relationships to accommodate the great number of people involved, is simply the signal that you achieved your social mastery goals. But the signal that you are sick of knowing yourself so well, that you can stand to go back to applying that solid self to deep inter-dependent relations with others (as opposed to your neurotic co-dependent strategies from before which had you feeling ‘lost’ inside of others’ influences).

Now is the best time in your life to decide what types of people you want to return to intimacy with. These types of people may be new people you met along your journey.

Or the people you now want to connect with deeper may be old friends you realize, indeed you could not live without feeling mentally ill.

Whatever you do decide to do once you've had enough of your stranger sickness, you will be the better for it having decided to define yourself along your own terms.

Contribute to your new relationships now, so you don't feel swept away, or powerless inside them- which is the reason why you "left them" in the first place.

With these new relationships you are engaging now, remember to always be yourself.

Thanks to your stranger sickness you know exactly what you value inside of real people that you really know. You are sick of knowing people on a superficial level, so you crave deeper relationships.

Honour that- but remember to bring yourself along with you in every relationship you engage. Otherwise you will have to go out on your own to find yourself all over again.

When listening to others opinions, realize that their opinions cannot affect yours if you ask yourself one simple question:

What would [insert your name here] think about THAT (referring to yourself in third person).

Who you are will always be clear, whenever you do so.

Have a good week

Four Years in the Game - What Happened?

For ANYONE considering truly MASTERING
meeting and dating women - this post is a
MUST-READ, so stop whatever it is you
are doing and pay attention to what may be
some of the most critical information you will
ever read.

For live discussion- please visit
http://www.torontophoenixsociety.com/ now!

Four Years in the Game- What Happened?
__________________________________
This post is devoted to some things I observed,
being involved in this world of dating success, pick-
up or whatever you want to call it.

Apologies if the post isn't in the best form of
writing- but actually right now I am in a new kind of
mission you probably haven't heard of before

It's a "Detox mission"!

And so MAKING SURE I SPENT 4 YEARS studying the
community, and immersing myself in it- FIRST, I am
now making sure to see the wisdom in taking 3
months - "90" DAYS! To reflect on things, and re-visit
the "normal" life ...for a while, of course

The rules of the game are as follows!

- I must maintain service in my coaching on a
weekly basis ( www.doubledaredating.ca )

-I must go out and socialize (be it nightclub, house
party, or watching Bond movies with my original
wing-man) at least 2-3 times a week.

-The rule for myself is that I can only give
the girl my contact, when meeting
someone new- I can't have her give
me hers- there's just too many I have
already!

-If I use any hypnosis, or affirmations, or
declarations over the next 3 months- they can only
be to hypnotize me into agreeing to listen to my
family's advice on how to further my progress with
my business/the community or whatever I've been
up to from 4 years ago up until now.

-I cannot completely drop the things I've been
involved in recently (the community, business,
fraternity)

-I have to re-strengthen relationships from inside –
out. Meaning I must focus first on my mother, then
my father, then my siblings and uncles/aunts, then
my cousins, then my

childhood/highschool/hometown friends, THEN the
extended "human family" at large: If I sarge
someone I don't know, I'm gonna have a
hometown friend give me his input first, or have
him introduce us from the outset.

-I have to increase my family and hometown
life (Ottawa) by 100%.

-Above all else, I have to be concious and aware
enough to seek understanding of my family AND
myself and NOT one exclusively from the other, as
much as possible.

-I have to think how I used to think and act first,
then think from community thinking/my own
thinking, second.

I noticed that whether or not I was in the
community - it made no difference. The disease
really I was suffering from, for a decade or two-
well before the community ever existed- was an
inner restlessness.

A tendency to live vicariously through others. Always
"ahh- shucks"-ing, grinning and giggling, easily excitable,
possessing a self-concept of a "vanishing self".

Kind of like those baby horses you
see that are just born- with the wobbly legs- it looks
old enough to take care of itself because it is
walking, but oh! no, just a boy.

So -yes, it's important to "detox" a little right now-
But that doesn't mean my entire four years was
somehow a "waste" and nothing was gained! Nuh-uh.

Contrary to popular belief from the media - The
community, and sarging,
is not the problem, in and of itself. It needs not be
done away with, and ignored.

It should be studied.
Made into a scientific/historic record to illuminate the
workings and patterns of the human mind, and
societies.

In my description, the problem starts with not honouring
and knowing oneself. But it doesn't end there. Being
too self-centred, or isolating oneself will fuck shit up
too!

Up until I started my own business a few months
ago, I did not feel I could do anything my parents
disagreed with- without it being a huge and
disastrous rebellion where I didn't talk to them for
months on end.

Well, just my rant for today.

So - there's the good, the bad and the ugly of what to
expect on your journey of consciousness- good luck!

Cujo